Let's Play a Game

One of my fondest memories as a child was playing board games and card games. When the whole family would be together, the adults would sit around the dinner table and play Dominoes. I think one of the first games I can remember playing was Candy Land and Go Fish with cards. My grandmother taught me how to play Concentration where all the cards are laid out in rows, face down and you had to try to find matching cards by turning them over 2 at a time. When I graduated high school and was living on my own, I didn't have a TV for the first 6 months so I played various solitaire card games. Games not only encourage you to think and keep your mind active but they can also teach you something. When I was a child, educational games were few but now, there must be 1000's of educational games for kids of all ages and abilities. Even today my family plays games. Usually, on Sunday, we will sit around the breakfast table and play a board game or card game. We are all very competitive and enjoy the usual banter and trash talk. When my wife and I have our best friends over, we have a meal then play a game of Spades. When I am asked to counsel a family, one of the things I ask the family to do is to set up a game night and stick with it week after week. Games level the playing field in the family. It doesn't matter if you are the father, mother, oldest sibling, youngest sibling, or somewhere in between, your chances of winning the game should be equal. Of course, I know there are games that require a lot of strategy and age and experience may make a difference in how well you play the game. There are plenty of games out there that the win is more on luck and how the dice roles than on strategy and the victory of winning a game of chance are celebrated with the same enthusiasm as a game of strategy. Game time is also a great time to find out what is going on in your child's life. It is easier for a child to talk about how they feel about things and what they think about when they are relaxed and having a good time. I have never had an adult or child come back to me after taking my suggestion of a game night and tell me it was a failure. Some have come back and told me it was so much fun, they have increased their game night to 3 times a week. That is always great to hear, besides wouldn't you rather have your family all interacting with each other than with their phones or video games. I'm Dad, and I'm just saying... Let's play a game.

The Noble Act of Contrition

I have been substitute teaching in my school district this year and have enjoyed it immensely. I would be hard pressed to say what grade level I enjoy teaching the most. At any age, when I see the light go on in the students' eyes and you know they have just grasped a concept new to them, it makes my heart soar! Of course, there are always those students who, for whatever reason, have difficulty following direction or focusing on their assignments. And there are those students who feel the need to display a negative and nasty attitude to anyone who would try to guide them. Last week, in my 6th-hour Spanish class, the entire class was having difficulty settling down and doing their assignment. There were 30 kids in the class and I counted 12 that were actually following my instructions and doing their work with little distraction. I informed the entire class that I would be leaving a note for their teacher to follow up with them and their lack of self-discipline. For the record, this was the first time I had ever left a note about students misbehaving. After class was over, one young man approached my desk and asked if he was on the list of kids who was not following direction. I checked the list and yes he was on it. He said "OK. I'm sorry for not listening." He had a look of disappointment on his face. It was obvious to me that he was sincere in his apology. I asked him if he would like to talk about his behavior and what he said next just about knocked me out of my seat. This young man was probably 13-14 years old. I have had him in other classes that I substituted in and even though I had to redirect him from time to time, he was never too much of a problem. His response to me was this: "No, It was my choice to keep talking and messing around. I made that decision. I should accept the punishment." I said "I'm impressed that you are taking responsibility and I can see that this has upset you. Tell me, are you upset because you're in trouble or are you upset for some other reason?" "I'm upset because I'm in trouble but I'm more upset because I didn't give you the respect I should have," he said. I don't want to use my blog to talk about politics and the horrible behavior of the candidates but I must say this young man taking ownership of his behavior wasn't learned by following the example of our politicians. It seems more and more common that people refuse to take responsibility for their actions. The parents of this young man should be very proud of the way he handled himself after being told he was in trouble. Of course, it would have been better still if the young man had complied with my instruction and not gotten in trouble in the first place. I took his name off the list and told him I appreciate his taking responsibility for his actions and was impressed that he would bother apologizing to me for the lack of respect he showed me. I also suggested he move to a different location away from the pretty girl he couldn't stop talking to and laughing with. He agreed. "I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice." Abraham Lincoln I'm Dad, and I'm just saying...