Be quiet

Just a couple of weekends ago when all the family was gathered together for Fathers Day, my grandson was so excited about spending time with his uncle Jason that it occupied every ounce of his 40 lb body. He could no more relax or slow down his thinking than an excited puppy could stop wagging its tail. Such pure embracing of enthusiasm and excitement, it would appear to me, is reserved for the very young or only in times of great stress for the rest of us. Looking back I can think of just a few times when I felt completely consumed with such intense feelings. The first time I rode a bike. I was only 6 and training wheels weren't part of the equation. I was directed by my older sisters to ride straight down a gravel hill and when I reach the bottom, turn, so as to miss the large pile of dead tumble weeds at the bottom. I was so excited about riding I couldn't think of anything else. I picked my feet up off the ground and placed them on the pedals for the first time in my life. My sisters held the bike steady until I was ready for launch. I stared straight down the hill which seemed like a mountain at the time. They game me a push and off I went. Straight down the hill. Feeling every rock and bump and hanging on with both hands white knuckle tight! The bottom of the hill came all to soon and I forgot to turn. I flew over the handle bars and landed on my back in the middle of the tumble weeds. It felt like a million tiny needles all being stuck in you at the same time. That was all I rode that day. I had a few other occasions of total submersion into the moment but I don't want to walk you through 50+ years in just one blog so I will skip ahead with just a mention of the moments. The first time I got a hit on the ball in an official baseball game and actually made it to first base without being thrown out. My first date, ironically on bicycles. First day of college. When I asked my wife to marry me. Fortunately she answered quickly with out giving it much thought. My wedding day. The birth of my children X3. The birth of my grandson. In all these occasions, my mind seem to zoom past my, well, my thinking. My mind would race so fast from one thought or feeling to another that I couldn't really keep up with it. I have never jumped from a plane but I would imagine it to be something like that. You can see all the things on the ground but trying to focus on just one thing is impossible. Your eyes are gathering information from hundreds or thousands of different objects and your brain is doing all it can to try to keep up. While still out on the patio, I pulled Brady aside and encouraged him to slow down and try to regain some self control so we could all go in to eat. He tried, oh how he tried but the feeling was just too great. The emotions were too keen. If he didn't let out his excitement, I'm sure he would have exploded. Now that I am much older these moments come far less often. The only time I feel like I am going to explode is when I've had too much coffee. I think maybe it's the intensity of every experience that draws me to work with kids. They not only accept it but they embrace it with their whole being. I'm Dad and I'm just saying be quiet. Maybe when your older.

Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there. I hope this Fathers Day is the best! Having been a father for over 28 years now, I can say few things give me greater pleasure then spending time with my sons. I was fortunate enough to have 3 sons! Nothing against daughters but I always wanted sons. Some of my most favorite memories is playing games around the table with them and their mother. I also loved watching them play sports. I never was able to stay in the stands and watch. I always had to get up and walk up and down the sidelines. Of course it was important that they won the game but even more important to me was that they were having fun and felt connected to the team. I remember special moments when I got to spend one on one time with each of my boys. The first time my middle son broke a board with his fist. (he had been taking karate) The camping trip I took with my oldest boy near the lake. The first time my youngest rode a bike without training wheels. All very special moments to me. I wish I had a photographic memory so I could recall every little look, comment, laugh, and tear of my boys when they were so young and vulnerable. I am reminded often of these moments with the expressions, comments, laughs, and tears of my grandson. I encourage my grandson often throughout the day to run faster, jump higher, laugh louder, and imagine bigger. I'm sure I did that with my own sons but I don't remember them all. I only hope that the encouragement I gave them is something that will come back to their memories as they spend time with their own kids and the words of encouragement will be multiplied over and over again.

I'm Dad -- I'm just saying, encourage your kids.

How do YOU define Added Value?

I went to the movie theater with my wife and best friend a couple of weekends ago. The movie was very good and the theater was very nice but... When I was a child, 8-12 years old, my friends and I could see a movie, get popcorn and coke all for 50 cents! Granted that was a few decades back but what is the added value that we are paying so much for now days? To get a plate of nachos at this theater it will cost you $9.00! Sodas and popcorn start at $5, EACH! I remember as a child watching the westerns at the movie theater. We all cheered when the good guy came in to take out the bad guy. We all booed when the bad guy took off with the lady in distress. It was great fun and excitement. We didn't watch the movie as a collection of individuals in the same place at the same time. We watched the movie as a group. A group of people united with the same goal in mind. See the good guy win, the bad guy lose, the horse get a kiss from the good guy and to have a great time.

The same thoughts apply to a kite I made with my grandson this last week. To be honest, I didn't make any home made from scratch kites when I was growing up. However, the store bought kites were made of paper, dow rods and string which is exactly the same way we made our kite. We didn't have any paper designed with a super hero so we used the newspaper. Come to think of it, given the news of late that was probably the best use for it. We glued the paper around the string and tied an old neck tie onto the bottom for the tail. It had its virgin flight just yesterday. It didn't fly as high as some of the commercial made kites would but that really didn't matter. What was important was that it flew and it was something we made ourselves with our own hands.

I'm Dad and I'm just saying, added values isn't all about what you get out of something. Sometimes it's what you put into something.

It's about the food

Last night, I prepared a meal for my beautiful wife, son, daughter in law and close friend. It was a new recipe and it took me over 3 hours to prep and cook. (2 1/2 of those hours were just prep work) It was a lot of work and with my carpel tunnel and joint pain, things went slowly. But when my son took his first bite of one of the cheese puffs and exclaimed "This is amazing!" it made it all worth while. No body that evening had ever had the dishes I prepared. Everyone said they thought they were fantastic and really liked them. I'm not trying to brag but cooking is my talent. It is one thing at which I am really good. I have seen my sons and friends excel in their talents and cheer them on. Mine is cooking and when I hear people talk about how good something taste, that is my standing ovation!
There are a couple of reasons why I believe having a good time is about the food. First off, it seems that when ever people get together for any kind of event, there is food. We are a hungry being. Secondly, I view cooking and serving as a form of nurturing for those I care about. Finally, throw out some distasteful, bland meal and see how the conversations and interactions go down the drain. Put some TV dinners in the microwave, set up some TV trays and turn on the tube. No conversation, no interaction, no nurturing, just some factory prepared slop that is choked down as quickly as possible so they don't have to taste it. Put out something that people love and suddenly everyone is happy and having a great time.
I think about cooking most of my waking hours. I have become so passionate about cooking that I seem to be always planning another meal or developing a new recipe. The only frustrating thing about being passionate about something is wanting to do it full time but not having the resources to. I pray everyday for the doors to open for me to have my own restaurant. I want a place where people can bring their children and loved ones and know that it is going to be a great meal and a great environment where everyone can relax and have a good time. I want a place where kids grow up and bring their own kids to because of the food and fond memories. I believe I will have that place soon. I don't know where or how but I trust God to bring it about. After all, even God has planned a table for his followers so we know that food is important to him as well. I'm Dad and I'm just saying...it's about the food.

Dress for Success!

The book Dress for Success came out while I was still in High School, back in the 70's. Simply put, it stressed the importance of presenting yourself appropriately dressed for the position you were working or seeking. One of my wife's sayings is "Dress for the job you want not the job you have". Sage advise I must say. However, I am seeing, on an alarming increase, people going out in public in their pajamas and house shoes! I am told that I am old fashioned and it isn't a big deal but to me it is quite disturbing. To start with I never wanted to picture what these people look like when they go to bed. I don't even like to visit a friend in the hospital because I don't want a picture of them laying in bed in a gown or pajamas. I don't want to know what they sleep in. Secondly, it appears that they haven't even taken care of the necessary prep work most people go through in the morning ie. shower, wash hair, brush teeth, put on deodorant. etc... Finally, how hard is it really to just change into day time clothes. I mean really, have we gotten so lazy that we can't even take off our pajamas and put on some clothes before we leave the house? I'm Dad and I'm just saying...put some clothes on.

Stay out of my Bubble!

Everyone has a Bubble! It's our personal space. It is something we are protective of. Some of us have bigger bubbles then others but all of us have Bubbles. I have different size Bubbles for different things. For example, my dinner plate. That has a Bubble around it. I don't like people to take things off my plate. It doesn't matter if I am going to eat it or not, I just don't like people sticking their for fork or God forbid their fingers into my plates Bubble. At the same time I don't take food off someone else's plate. Another Bubble I have is my truck or more specifically certain parts of my truck. Of course I don't mind giving people rides in my truck or hauling peoples stuff in the back of the truck but inside the truck there are spaces that are protected by Bubbles. The driver's seat is one of them. I have let people drive my truck but when I do, I get this since of uneasiness inside. Not that I am so worried that they will wreck or have an accident but that maybe they would do something like hit a curb or park too close to another car and get a ding in the door. Plus is seems that no matter who else drives my truck, they always move the seat. Another Bubble I have would be my bed or more specifically, under the covers in my bed. I don't mind a person taking a nap on my bed so long as they are not under the covers but once they get under the covers, they have invaded my Bubble.

Now, before all of you start thinking I have issues, let me remind you that each of you have your own Bubbles. The average person has a Bubble of about 3 feet around them. This could be more or less depending on whether or not the person knows who is approaching their Bubble. Obviously we allow into our Bubble people we are close to, otherwise there would be a lot fewer people on this planet. Maybe your Bubble is your work station or desk. Maybe it is your closet or your side of the bath room sink. We all have them and we all feel invaded even if it is just a little bit, when people get into our Bubble.

I'm Dad--I'm just saying.... stay out of my Bubble.

Never play leap frog with an elephant...

I used to love to listen to Paul Harvey on the radio. I like his stories and the history he would give to the origin of old sayings. I thought today I would share as many of those as I can remember.

"Stuck in a rut". Very common expression to indicate that a person routine or way of life has become mundane with no variation. It comes from the days of the wagon trains traveling west. The wheels on the wagon would carve such deep ruts in the ground that once a person got the team of horses or oxen started, they could actually let go of the reins, go to the back of the wagon and take a nap. The ruts would guide the wagon down the path like auto pilot. In fact the ruts were extremely difficult to get out of. The team would have to be disconnected from the wagon and then the wagon would have to be lifted out of the ruts and set on level ground.

"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water". Just because one part of something, a meal, a machine, a gadget, doesn't work; it doesn't mean that the rest of it is of no value. Origin is again from the early years of our country. The order for bathing was this: first-father, second-mother, third-oldest child, forth-next to the oldest.... you get the idea. Last to bath was the baby and usually by this point the water was so dirty, you could easily lose site of the baby in it. I don't know if any one has ever actually thrown a baby out with the bath water but it is a wonder any of the babies survived such filth!href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:KidsBathingInASmallMetalTub.jpg"><Image via Wikipedia

"You can't have your cake and eat it to". You sometimes have to give something up in order to get something you want. Not sure where this expression started but simply if you eat your cake, you no longer have it, conversely if you want to keep your cake, you can't eat it.

"Don't let them get your goat". Don't let what someone does, get you so upset that you can't maintain self control. Again from the days of the west. Horse racing was just a popular back then as it is today. When the horse was young, it would have a goat placed with it to bond with. This goat would travel with horse from one race to another to help keep the horse calm when in unfamiliar stables. Opponents would sometimes steal the goat during the night before the race day. This would upset the horse and prevent it from racing at peak performance, thus less likely to win the race.

"Don't judge a book by its cover". Best example for this recently would have to be Susan Boyd who stunned the judges with her incredible voice. Not much to look at but what a fantastic voice. Not sure where this got started but I would assume it would have to be back when the only thing on the cover of a book was the title and the name of the person who wrote it. Now days, since we do tend to judge a book by its cover, the publisher tries to make the cover as exciting and enticing as possible just to get us to pick it up.

"You don't go to a gun fight with nothing but a knife". When you are going into a challenge, be it a sell, a request for a raise, a confrontation for a wrong doing, you don't go in unprepared. Better to be over prepared then to come up short. My favorite example of this was in one of the Indiana Jones movie. He is confronted by a man wielding a big sword, swinging it this way and that showing how much control he has of his weapon. Indiana pulls out his pistol and shoots the guy. Confrontation over.

Finally, "Never play leap frog with an elephant". Elephants are the only mammal that can't jump. Enough said.