A little bit more of innocence

I am currently working in a public elementary school whose students, in large part, live in public or section 8 housing. They are poor. The surrounding neighborhood is poor and rough. They tell me of drive-by shootings, fights, drugs, prostitution, thefts, and of course gangs. My class is the "Intervention" class. Otherwise known as ISS or In-School-Suspension. When a student comes to my class, they generally walk in with a negative attitude or a look of fear on their face. Coming to my class is not a reward. They are usually placed with me for 3 days. They don't get to go to recess, art, music, computer lab or PE when they are in my class. They don't even get to eat lunch with their friends. We either go down to the cafeteria and get our lunch and take it back up to our class or it is brought to us. My students are very much isolated from the rest of the student body, which, is precisely the way it is supposed to be. Once they are in my class, the work begins for them, and me. First, we discuss one on one what got them placed in my class. The first response is generally that they didn't do anything, followed by they were justified in what they did. The number one reason a student is sent to my class is for fighting. Unfortunately, given their home life and surroundings, altercations are almost of necessity. They learn, at a very young age, that if they aren't willing to fight to keep their stuff or to protect themselves, then they will end up hurt and with no possessions. So, the older kids, 4th and 5th grade, generally come into my class with the attitude that they are being treated unjustly and have no intentions of cooperating. They are angry and defensive. They are already convinced that nothing good will come out of being in my class and it is a total waste of their time. I don't smile. I don't even look them in the eye. I just tell them to have a seat in the chair beside my desk. They sit, slouched down about as far as they can go without falling off the chair. I tell them to sit up, again without looking at them. They scoot back a couple of inches but don't actually sit up. Now is the time for eye contact. I grab hold of the front of the chair and turn it to face me. Looking them square in the eye I repeat my instructions. "SIT UP!" They are taken by surprise but comply. I sit back and start the conversation about what happened. Calmly and gently, I ask the student to tell me what happened. They usually start at the end of the story, so we have to backtrack a few time to get the whole story in. I look for things in their story I can agree with. I also look for opportunities in their story where if they had made a different decision, things would have turned out better for them. We talk about anger being a secondary emotion and how it is ALWAYS preceded by some other feeling. We talk until we are able to figure out what the primary emotion was. Once we identify that, we can deal with it, and the anger part will begin to fade. During the rest of their time with me, they do their school work. If they finish and are cooperating, then they get some reward, such as playing a game or listening to music. Throughout their time with me, we will touch on the anger issue and what the primary emotions were. By the end of the 3rd day, they feel better about themselves and life in general. Most of them don't want to go back to their regular class but would rather stay in my class. As much as I would like to take full credit for this, I can't. My class size has 2-8 kids. Their regular class has 25-35 kids. They get lots of one-on-one attention in my class, which is why they get all their school work done ahead of time. One-on-one also gives me time to reinforce having a positive attitude and making decisions that will work out favorably for them. The number one reason I get from the students as to why they want to stay in my classroom is that it is quiet. With all the chaos these kids experience on a daily basis, having some quiet time, in a safe environment where they know the adult in the room is there for them, it is essential to maintaining their innocence. These are children age 5-12 years old, but the same would hold true for children up to 18 years old. Once my students realize I'm not there to punish them or criticize them but to care for them, and teach them, they become a child again. The tough kid who is looking for a fight fades away, and they become an innocent child just wanting a hug and to hear an adult say "everything is going to be ok. I've got you."

I think I'm possibly an Easter Scrooge.

I'm Catholic and should have been in Mass this morning for Easter Mass. Apparently, it's a pretty big deal with Catholics and I guess just about any Christian Faith. When I was a child, we attended a Church of Christ. Each year, for as young as I can remember, my mom would take me out to buy a new suit for Easter Sunday. My mom and two sisters would get new dresses, and my mom would also get a new hat. We were all dressed to the hilt with our new Easter outfits. I would wear that same suit every Sunday that year until I outgrew it. Normally, about 6 months, but I wouldn't get another suit until close to Easter the following year. I grew up knowing what Easter was all about from the Biblical sense. I knew it was the day that Jesus arose from the grave and in so doing, gave all of us the hope of being able to do the same and go to Heaven. After church service, which seemed to last for hours, we would go home for Sunday lunch. Normally, the extended family would also be there so there would be other kids for us to play with. After lunch, we would get to hunt easter eggs. Eggs which we had boiled and dyed the previous day. After the egg hunt, we would eat, the boiled eggs. I always loved the yoke better than the white but my cousin liked the white better. It worked well for the two of us. Those were the days. As I mentioned, I'm now Catholic and Easter is a really big deal to them. So much so, the attendance on Easter is greater than on Christmas or any other special holiday of the year. Easter Mass is a very special and solemn Mass. There is a great deal of emphasis placed on the resurrection of Christ. I have no problem with the remembering of Christ's resurrection, or his crucifixion, or burial, or any part of that whole event. I guess what I struggle with is why this is emphasized so much on Easter and not so much the rest of the year. Each time I go to Mass, we have the sacraments or communion. Each time a special song is chosen for us to sing while waiting to go forward to receive the body and blood of Christ. Each time I focus on the belief that Christ died for me, cleansing me of my sins, and giving me hope of eternal life. Each time, my eyes tear up thinking about what kind of love a person must have to go through that for me. Easter is just another occasion for me to experience what I do every Mass. The difference is the tremendous show that is put on for those attending Easter Mass. I guess I feel like big productions at Easter, Christmas, Mother's day, and Father's day, in some way cheapens what we are all trying so hard to honor, and should be honoring on a daily basis.