A little bit more of innocence

I am currently working in a public elementary school whose students, in large part, live in public or section 8 housing. They are poor. The surrounding neighborhood is poor and rough. They tell me of drive-by shootings, fights, drugs, prostitution, thefts, and of course gangs. My class is the "Intervention" class. Otherwise known as ISS or In-School-Suspension. When a student comes to my class, they generally walk in with a negative attitude or a look of fear on their face. Coming to my class is not a reward. They are usually placed with me for 3 days. They don't get to go to recess, art, music, computer lab or PE when they are in my class. They don't even get to eat lunch with their friends. We either go down to the cafeteria and get our lunch and take it back up to our class or it is brought to us. My students are very much isolated from the rest of the student body, which, is precisely the way it is supposed to be. Once they are in my class, the work begins for them, and me. First, we discuss one on one what got them placed in my class. The first response is generally that they didn't do anything, followed by they were justified in what they did. The number one reason a student is sent to my class is for fighting. Unfortunately, given their home life and surroundings, altercations are almost of necessity. They learn, at a very young age, that if they aren't willing to fight to keep their stuff or to protect themselves, then they will end up hurt and with no possessions. So, the older kids, 4th and 5th grade, generally come into my class with the attitude that they are being treated unjustly and have no intentions of cooperating. They are angry and defensive. They are already convinced that nothing good will come out of being in my class and it is a total waste of their time. I don't smile. I don't even look them in the eye. I just tell them to have a seat in the chair beside my desk. They sit, slouched down about as far as they can go without falling off the chair. I tell them to sit up, again without looking at them. They scoot back a couple of inches but don't actually sit up. Now is the time for eye contact. I grab hold of the front of the chair and turn it to face me. Looking them square in the eye I repeat my instructions. "SIT UP!" They are taken by surprise but comply. I sit back and start the conversation about what happened. Calmly and gently, I ask the student to tell me what happened. They usually start at the end of the story, so we have to backtrack a few time to get the whole story in. I look for things in their story I can agree with. I also look for opportunities in their story where if they had made a different decision, things would have turned out better for them. We talk about anger being a secondary emotion and how it is ALWAYS preceded by some other feeling. We talk until we are able to figure out what the primary emotion was. Once we identify that, we can deal with it, and the anger part will begin to fade. During the rest of their time with me, they do their school work. If they finish and are cooperating, then they get some reward, such as playing a game or listening to music. Throughout their time with me, we will touch on the anger issue and what the primary emotions were. By the end of the 3rd day, they feel better about themselves and life in general. Most of them don't want to go back to their regular class but would rather stay in my class. As much as I would like to take full credit for this, I can't. My class size has 2-8 kids. Their regular class has 25-35 kids. They get lots of one-on-one attention in my class, which is why they get all their school work done ahead of time. One-on-one also gives me time to reinforce having a positive attitude and making decisions that will work out favorably for them. The number one reason I get from the students as to why they want to stay in my classroom is that it is quiet. With all the chaos these kids experience on a daily basis, having some quiet time, in a safe environment where they know the adult in the room is there for them, it is essential to maintaining their innocence. These are children age 5-12 years old, but the same would hold true for children up to 18 years old. Once my students realize I'm not there to punish them or criticize them but to care for them, and teach them, they become a child again. The tough kid who is looking for a fight fades away, and they become an innocent child just wanting a hug and to hear an adult say "everything is going to be ok. I've got you."