Let's Play a Game

One of my fondest memories as a child was playing board games and card games. When the whole family would be together, the adults would sit around the dinner table and play Dominoes. I think one of the first games I can remember playing was Candy Land and Go Fish with cards. My grandmother taught me how to play Concentration where all the cards are laid out in rows, face down and you had to try to find matching cards by turning them over 2 at a time. When I graduated high school and was living on my own, I didn't have a TV for the first 6 months so I played various solitaire card games. Games not only encourage you to think and keep your mind active but they can also teach you something. When I was a child, educational games were few but now, there must be 1000's of educational games for kids of all ages and abilities. Even today my family plays games. Usually, on Sunday, we will sit around the breakfast table and play a board game or card game. We are all very competitive and enjoy the usual banter and trash talk. When my wife and I have our best friends over, we have a meal then play a game of Spades. When I am asked to counsel a family, one of the things I ask the family to do is to set up a game night and stick with it week after week. Games level the playing field in the family. It doesn't matter if you are the father, mother, oldest sibling, youngest sibling, or somewhere in between, your chances of winning the game should be equal. Of course, I know there are games that require a lot of strategy and age and experience may make a difference in how well you play the game. There are plenty of games out there that the win is more on luck and how the dice roles than on strategy and the victory of winning a game of chance are celebrated with the same enthusiasm as a game of strategy. Game time is also a great time to find out what is going on in your child's life. It is easier for a child to talk about how they feel about things and what they think about when they are relaxed and having a good time. I have never had an adult or child come back to me after taking my suggestion of a game night and tell me it was a failure. Some have come back and told me it was so much fun, they have increased their game night to 3 times a week. That is always great to hear, besides wouldn't you rather have your family all interacting with each other than with their phones or video games. I'm Dad, and I'm just saying... Let's play a game.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. So the childhood saying went. As far as physical damage is concerned, I suppose the saying is true. But as far as emotional or psychological is concerned, words can do far more damage then a mere broken bone. Not to get all religious but the Bible tells us that our words speak life or death to situations, people's lives, people's health, relationships, etc...... It also tells us that the hardest muscle to control or train is the tongue. I know that I have not always spoken life to those around me and looking back I regret it. But as I have gotten older, I have tried to be more encouraging and speak more kindly to those who are a part of my life. Of course words spoken while driving in traffic with my windows up and nobody else in the truck with me, don't count. I think of being in the truck alone as neutral ground where normal rules of engagement don't apply. It bothers me when I hear people call each other names, especially children. Whether it is one child calling another stupid or an adult calling the child a brat, it really gets under my skin. I know that the feelings of the person calling the name at the time are just temporary and they probably don't mean any real harm. But the words can have a lasting effect on that child especially if they are spoken on a regular basis. For the most part, children believe what we tell them about themselves. They may not believe us when we tell them they like spinach, but if we tell them over and over again that they are a brat or smart, they will accept it as true and act accordingly. One of my favorite names for my boys was "goober gut". It really has no meaning and isn't derogatory. When our boys were young, "shut up" wasn't allowed to be said. So they would say "be quiet in a mean way". So cleaver! One of my favorite sayings is "Choose your words wisely and make the sweet. You never know which ones you eat". I encourage you to really listen to the words that come out of your mouth today and make them life giving. I'm Dad--and I'm just saying........... words.

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